30 and Over

As I predicted, and as was pointed out to me, I have fallen behind on this blog thing... So I will try to catch up on the happenings over here. 

This is just a short story from a few weeks ago, that kind of seems to characterize how things have gone for me in New Jersey.

I was talking with a friend awhile back (if you are reading this you will know who you are) about first  impressions of people, and how we approach new people. She stated that she keeps people at a distance, assuming they aren't good people until they can prove her wrong. Ultimately, she really doesn't like someone until they earn that right to be liked. An interesting approach, as I told her... I have the opposite viewpoint, where I give everyone the benefit of the doubt that they are ultimately good people, I am friendly and try to reach out to people, and will continue to think they are a good person until they prove otherwise. And usually it will take several instances for someone to prove to me they ultimately are not worth having any kind of a relationship with. 

Thus brings me to the 30 and Over Basketball League. They call it a league, but really it's just a bunch of guys getting together once a week to play hoops. Just what I was looking for.

To put this situation in better context for you to understand how I was feeling, it is quite a push for me to go to something like this on my own, not knowing anyone. This is definitely out of my comfort zone. This is a foreign place, with foreign people, and I don't like it. But, I'm at the point where I need to step out of my comfort zone if I am ever going to meet people over here!

So it's Wednesday night at 7pm, and I head out to play some basketball for a couple hours with the 30 and over crew. Meara always likes to say I am a 29 year old in a 50 year old's body. It's not too far from the truth. I'm out of shape with two bad knees and a bad back, and not a great basketball player. Never really professed to be, so it doesn't hurt me to much to write that. I told Meara, "I'll just tell them I'm 29, out of shape, with two bad knees. They'll let me play, right?"

So I set out to find the gym at the local rec center. That is my first problem, I can't find the gym. I ask around, and someone tells me they might be playing over at the high school. So I drive over to the high school. I step in the gym, and there are a bunch of 10 year olds throwing around a basketball. Is this what they thought I was looking for?? I kind of feel like a creeper, so I quickly exit. I head back to the rec center, thinking I just missed the gym. I start walking around the building, finding nothing. While in the parking lot, a gentleman asks me if I have any jumper cables. My first inclination was, no, I don't, mainly because I don't want to take the time to help you. I politely tell him I don't think I have cables, but I will look just to make sure. As I head up to my car, I feel like a terrible person. I yell back to him that I found cables, and I will be right over to help him jump start his car. After helping him out, I see a police officer walking by. I decide to ask him where the gym might be (again, stepping out of my comfort zone to do this). He tells me they most likely play up the hill, but he isn't sure if it's going on tonight. So I drive up the hill, find the gym, see the door propped open, and head in.

I finally found it! Sure enough, a bunch of old guys playing basketball. They have just started up a new game, so I lace up my sneakers, stretch out, and wait to get in the next game. About 30 minutes later they finally finish their game (this is not great basketball). One of the guys heads over, and asks, "Hey, how old are you?" I pull out my practiced line, "Well, I'm 29, but out of shape with two bad knees!" I'm smiling and trying to laugh, but no such response from him. He stares at me, and responds, "Well, this is a 30 and over league. Sorry. We can't have you taking up a spot." I'm dumbfounded. Can this really be happening?!?! There's only 12 guys in the gym, and half of them don't look like they can't play another game. I stand there stunned for what seems like an eternity, until someone else chimes in, "It's okay, just let him play tonight." Wow, okay, this is awkward. "No, no, I can leave," I say. But people are leaving, and they actually need me for numbers. So I stick around and play a few games. I play pretty soft and try not to do too much, jog up and down the floor, trying to show I'm not exactly spry and young, looking to tear up the floor. I feel like I accomplished my goal of showing that I may not be that bad to play with, even if I am the young age of 29. 

After we are done, the original guy comes over and says, "Thanks for playing tonight, but this IS a 30 and over league. They have an 18+ league that plays on another night." 18+?!?! You think I can keep up with 18 year olds after my performance?! Well okay, I get the picture, I am definitely not welcome here... Then he asks, "When do you turn 30?" I tell him in the spring. "Ok, we'll see you in the spring then," he responds. "Oh, and do you live in Highland Park?" he asks. Yes jerk! I do live in Highland Park! Would you like to check my drivers license!? By this point I am beyond embarrassed and pissed off, so I quickly exit the gym, probably never to return, even when I turn 30... 

This is probably the quickest decision I have made about someone/group of people. They quickly proved me wrong. Reflecting on this, I still can't believe they wouldn't let me play. I even told them I had just moved to the area, and was just trying to get involved with some things. Who does this?! New Jersians do this... So much for going out of my comfort zone...

So I'm back to square one, hanging out with Moxie. She's a pretty good buddy, with quite an agreeable nature. 

- Kevin